When my friend “who is like a daughter to me” Jessica Levin was turning 30, I offered my home for the party, as I live in Northern New Jersey which is halfway between New York (where several of Jessica’s friends and relatives live) and Central Jersey (where Jessica lives). Her relatives gratefully accepted and her grandmother, Nana Corbin, generously offered to help me with the cooking – which actually meant that she would get her husband (Boris) to cook and then complain about how tired she was afterwards. (I learned this secret – a variation of making reservations for dinner – when Jessica and her sisters explained it to me).
“My nana will call you,” Jessica said, “and offer to make food – but my grandfather will actually make it…but the last time I asked for kugel, he gave me frozen kugel that he bought somewhere and pretended he made it.”
This was getting more complicated by the minute, and became even more so when I finally got the call from Nana.
I’ll never forget the conversation – which was actually a 3-way call, even though only two of us were technically on the phone – Nana, me and Mr. Nana Corbin (Boris in the Background who gave a running commentary on everything Nana said, which I would have heard even without a headset).
Here’s roughly what it sounded like:
Nana C: Vicki? It’s Jessica’s grandmother – Nana Corbin – but you can call me Nana. Oh – you’re such a nice person to have the party in your house. Please – let me know what I can do…is there anything you want me to make?
Boris (in the background): See if she wants stuffed cabbaged.
Nana C: “Vicki – do you want me to make stuffed cabbage?
Me: Sure – that would be great…
Nana C (interrupting): Oh – that’s good – but I make mine unstuffed…
Boris in background (BIB): Tell her we make it unstuffed.
Nana C: I told her! Do you like it unstuffed?
Me: I’m sure it will be fine –
Nana C (interrupting): What about meatballs? I make nice meatballs…
BIB: Ask her if she wants meatballs.
Nana C (to BIB): I’m asking her now…Vicki do you want me to make meatballs?
Me: Well, actually, I’m half Swedish and half Italian – so usually make meatballs echoing each of my ethnicities…
Nana C: Oh, ok, no meatballs
BIB: No meatballs? Why doesn’t she want meatballs?
Nana C: She makes meatballs. She’s Italian.
BIB: She’s Italian? Does she want lasagna?
Nana C (to BIB): She makes meatballs. I don’t know about the lasagna.
Nana C (to me): Sweetie, do you want lasagna?
Me: No thanks – the stuffed cabbage will be fine.
Nana C: Ok, so you want the stuffed cabbage
BIB: Tell her it’s unstuffed cabbage
Nana C (to BIB): I told her!
Nana C (to me): You know it’s unstuffed…that’s how I make it…
Me: That’s great; anything you want to make is fine with me…
Nana C: There’s nothing else you need? Nothing?
BIB: Ask her if there’s anything else she needs
Nana C (to BIB): I asked her! She doesn’t want anything else…
Me: Well – actually – it would be great if you would make some kugel…I think Jessica loves it and I have no clue how to make it – I’m a shiksa
BIB (in a psychic frenzy): Ask her if she wants kugel.
Nana C (to BIB): She already asked me for kugel
Nana C (to me): Darling, do you want some kugel?
Me: Yes – I would love it if you would make kugel…
Nana C: Do you like it with or without raisins?
BIB (to Nana C): Ask her if she likes it with or without raisins.
Me: I love raisins.
Nana: Jessica hates it with raisins.
BIB (to Nana C): Jessica hates raisins in her kugel.
Nana C (to BIB): I know – I just told her…
Nana C (to me): Jessica doesn’t like it with raisins…
Me: Oh then – make it without – it’s her birthday…she should have it the way she likes it…
Nana C: But she can take them out – it’s no big deal…
BIB: She can take them out – it’s no big deal.
Nana C: Is there anything else you need, dear?
BIB: Ask her if there’s anything else she needs.
Nana C: I just asked her that!
Nana C (to me): Is there anything else you need, dear?
Me: You really don’t have to do this…
Nana C (to me): But I want to …please tell me if you need anything else at all…
(At this point, I paused to hear what BIB had to say. After 10 seconds of silence, I spoke again)
Me: Maybe if you want to make a brisket?
Nana C (to BIB): She wants a brisket.
BIB: Brisket?
Nana C (to BIB): Brisket.
Me: You don’t have to…
BIB: Brisket?
Nana C (to BIB): That’s what she said – she wants brisket…
Nana C (to me): You really don’t have to serve so much food….no one eats anymore…
BIB: She doesn’t need brisket – they won’t eat it…no one eats anymore…
After all of that I was, as you can imagine, exhausted. So I stopped arguing and said "You're right - no one eats...you know Jessica better than I do - so just make what you'd like to make and I'll serve it."
Nana C: Ok darling - I'll bring the unstuffed cabbage and the kugel...
Before BIB could interject, I said my grateful goodbyes and hung up, knowing that if nothing else, the food at the party would be covered and no one would go hungry (especially since "no one eats anymore").
Of course, the fact that the kugel had raisins in it when Jessica hates raisins caused what has become known as the Corbin Family Kugel Controversy, an un-holiday which occurs several times a year at Corbin Family gatherings.
"Can you believe my nana made the kugel with raisins?," Jessica's little sister Tiffany said, "Jessica hates raisins in her kugel."
I paused - waiting to hear BIB say something (even though he was two rooms away at the time). He didn't, however, either because he didn't hear what Tiffany said, or because his mouth was full of the meatballs I had ordered from the Italian deli at my corner. I would have rolled them myself, but took a leaf from Nana's recipe tree.
And if some of you are now craving kugel, here's a recipe for dairy kugel that I "borrowed" from someone. I've never actually made it - but either did Nana C, and if you make this one, Jessica Levin might Twitter about you since there are no raisins in it.
Enjoy!
• 4 cups uncooked egg noodles
• 1/4 cup butter or margarine, melted
• 5 eggs
• 2 cups small curd cottage cheese
• 2 cups sour cream
• 2 cups milk
• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1 1/4 cups sugar, divided
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
Cook noodles according to package directions; drain. Toss with butter; set aside. in a large mixing bowl, beat the eggs for 8-10 minutes. Beat in cottage cheese, sour cream, milk, cream cheese, 1 cup sugar, vanilla and salt. Stir in noodles.
Transfer to a greased 13-in. x 9-in. x 2-in. baking dish. Combine the cinnamon and remaining sugar; sprinkle over noodle mixture. Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees F for 55-60 minutes or until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.
