(The following post was originally written as a Facebook note on February 17, 2009, when I was missing my old washing machine...but we're together again at last):
I know that if I write about how enhanced features in former washing machine makes me long for the days when doing laundry was a joyous experience and not one to be dreaded, that some will assume I'm making an analogy...and I'm not -
Ordinarily I'd write about washers when really discussing relationships in an attempt at euphemism (see for example "Goodbye Kitty"...did anyone really believe it was actually about SWEATERS?)...so now I'll do the reverse...
Years back, I was in a mediocre relationship which was unfulfilling and my mother (who was raised in the "till death do us part even if our death is accelerated by this horrible union" mentality) said "Well - 'they' are all like that...it doesn't matter who you're with..." And I kind of believed her...felt that all relationships became stale and boring after 90 days and people became complacent and took each other for granted and that there was no one else in the world who liked to lick Dorito crumbs from the bottle of the bag on the morning after a night of too much Absolut or set the alarm for 3 a.m. to watch "The Hunt for Red October" or go to Chinatown instead of 7-Eleven to get emergency spring rolls or make me spew water at them because they made me laugh so hard when I was trying to drink it...
Then - I met someone who actually was in some ways "all that" and it changed my perception...and I knew instantly that my mother knew not of whence she spoke...some people are just more in sync with each other in essential ways...it doesn't have to do with arguments or values or goals...it has to do with what you do during the elipses...
So when we eventually broke up (for reasons other than lack of excitement) - while the relationship had run its course and neither of us had any regrets...it was hard for me to go back to "Joe Normal" after being with someone who would come to visit me in the dead of winter wearing gym shorts and think it was fine to stay out all night on a Tuesday because sleep was overrated...
But right now - it's about the laundry...
I once enjoyed doing laundry...there was something ritualistic and almost sacred about the experience...washing away the soil of the day and starting anew...it was downright Biblical...epic...and my old washer had so many cycles that were so specific that it was both dizzying and exhiliarating..."hand wash - light...delicate - slow wash...heavy but not overweight...soak...soak and then spin...soak, rest...spin..."
Eventually, that machine will make its way back to me...my former residence is in the final stages of closing and my former spouse (with whom the relationship "ran its natural course") is agreeable to giving me full custody of my favorite home appliance.
But for now - I'll have to put up with "On-Off-Hot-Warm-Cold" and the mediocrity of an agitator that is a victim of the existential vacuum (cleaner) and really wanted to be a motorboat...
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